Every Child Needs a Family

by Jaia Peterson Lent, deputy executive director at Generations United

(This article first appeared in GRAND Magazine.)

For the majority of children in the U.S. gifts and family may seem almost synonymous with the holidays. But for the more than 55,000 children and youth in the U.S. foster care system who are living in group homes, the gift of family feels largely out of reach. One in seven children under the care of the child welfare system is placed in a group setting, even though more than 40 percent of these children have no documented clinical or behavioral needs that warrant placing them in group settings without families.

Every child needs a family and research shows they do best when that family is headed by a grandparent or other relative. Compared to children in group care and those in foster care with non-relatives, children in foster care with grandparents or other relatives have more stable lives, better behavioral and mental health, and are less likely to run away. Perhaps most importantly, they are most likely to report they “always feel loved.”

But the child welfare system is not set up to provide the necessary outreach, supports and services grandparents and other relatives need when they step in to raise children.

Bob Ruble of California understands well the importance of supporting relatives to keep children with family and out of group care. Bob explains, “My sister had many life issues and had been making poor and unsafe decisions while raising her daughter, my niece. When my niece was 8, I made the call my sister was arrested. My niece was removed from her care and placed in group home care. I assumed I was done. The next day I got the call and was asked to have her placed with me. There was no one else who could and I was told if I said no then she would be placed with a stranger in foster care so I stepped in to care for her. My journey began and I was left with little direction on how to proceed on my own.”

Yet Bob was fortunate in many ways. He had a steady income and was able to handle the financial issues until additional resources were made available and he had the stamina to track down the elusive information and support he and his niece needed.

In contrast, of the 2.6 million grandparents responsible for grandchildren across the country, more than one in five lives below the poverty line. Twenty-six percent of them have a disability and are juggling their own health care needs in addition to the needs of the children. The vast majority do not have supports or do not know how to access the supports and services that are available to them.

In the midst of this holiday season, Congress has the opportunity to give the gift of a safe and loving family to children who cannot remain with their parents. Bipartisan legislation called the Family First Prevention Services Act passed the House of Representatives in June. The legislation would prioritize families for children and reform federal child welfare financing so that those funds could be used for supportive services to grandparents and other relatives to help keep children with them and out of foster care when possible. But the Senate left for recess in September without passing the bill. Even following a divisive and contentious election season, the importance of supporting families for children is something elected officials on both sides of the aisle can agree on. They simply need to make it a priority and get it done when they reconvene for a lame duck session in November.

And if they do, Bob, who has gone on to become a spokesperson and advocate for children being raised by relatives, will highlight for them what the gift of family can mean in the life of a child. Now age 22, Bob’s niece, Kindra, is attending Fullerton College and is pursuing a major in art and a minor in psychology. He is so proud of her and reports that she is an amazingly talented artist and an equally skilled writer. Lately, she has been talking with Bob about plans to write her story about how important it was for her to remain with family. When she shares it, she hopes it may help others this holiday season understand what family has meant to her. A true gift.

The Resounding Resiliency of Grandfamilies: Generations United's Statement

Approximately 2.7 million grandparents in the United States are responsible for raising their grandchildren. More than one in five of these grandparents live below the poverty line. Yet their circumstances are often overlooked when trying to strengthen the financial lives of families in lower-income communities.

Despite these hardships, grandfamily households are a better alternative to placing children in non-relative care. Children raised in kinship care, or what are commonly referred to as grandfamilies, fare better than those placed in the care of non-relatives. They are more likely to report feeling loved, achieve stability, stay connected to their brothers and sisters and understand their roots and culture. They are also more likely to have a couch to crash on when they’re too old to stay in the foster care system.

And even though these grandparent caregivers are skilled money managers, they just don’t have enough to stretch when they take on raising their grandchildren.

We partnered with CFED and Citi Community Development to get a better understanding of grandfamilies, their financial lives and how the available resources can better serve them. The findings are included in our report, The Resounding Resilience of Grandfamilies: Financial Stories from Older Relatives Care for Children in Lower-Income Communities.

The report, based on interviews from 20 grandparent caregivers in Chicago and Trenton, NJ, includes stories of sacrifice. For many caregivers, sacrificing for the children meant giving up a life they envisioned. For others, these sacrifices meant giving up on thinking about the future (retirement, etc.).

These caregivers keep families together and save taxpayers $4 billion a year by keeping their grandchildren out of the foster care system.

Through our National Center on Grandfamilies, we work to enact policies and promote programs, like kinship navigators and respite care, which help grandfamilies address challenges. Research shows that programs like these can reduce costs and increase permanency, while resulting in fewer days in child welfare custody and lower rates of foster care reentry.

The Resounding Resiliency of Grandfamilies also highlights opportunities to help improve the financial situation of grandfamilies – from empowering caregivers to reach their financial goals, to seeking ways to build the capacities of caregivers’ social and family networks to financially support grandfamilies, to continuing to learn more about the financial lives of grandfamilies.

To learn more about the financial lives of the 2.7 million grandfamily caregivers in America, download The Resounding Resilience of Grandfamilies. To contribute to our knowledge about grandfamilies, share a story with us about a grandfamily in your community.

Generations United 2015 Intergenerational State of the Union Response

“I want future generations to know that we are a people who see our differences as a great gift, that we are a people who value the dignity and worth of every citizen — man and woman, young and old, black and white, Latino and Asian, immigrant and Native American, gay and straight, Americans with mental illness or physical disability.”

Tuesday night, President Obama’s State of the Union Address highlighted why intergenerational cooperation, understanding, protection and support underpin our country’s strength and its future.

In addressing our changing demographics, the President rightly recognizes that our differences are “a great gift.” Young people of color will drive the future growth in our workforce, and their ability to earn good livings will strengthen Social Security and the safety net on which young and old depend.

Making Affordable High-Quality Childcare a Must-Have
We applaud the President’s plan, which calls for more investments in children and families. It will do this by creating more childcare slots and a new tax cut of up to $3,000 per child annually. Affordable high-quality childcare is a must-have because children with quality early experiences are 29 percent more likely to graduate high school. They also grow up to become adults more likely to be employed and earn 33 percent more than the average salary. Those returns on investment are a huge win for Americans, especially since children in quality early experiences are 70 percent less likely to be arrested for a violent crime before the age of 18. Generations United’s Seniors4Kids get this and that’s why they raise their voices on behalf of investments in children.

Pushing for States to Adopt Paid Leave Laws
In speaking to the need for paid leave, the President rightly identified some of the tough decisions working grandfamilies are faced with, explaining that “…too many parents [are forced] to make the gut-wrenching choice between a paycheck and a sick kid at home.” A bill that lets every worker earn seven days of paid sick leave helps the 58 percent of the 2.7 million grandparents responsible for grandchildren who are working. A law allowing workers to earn paid leave is just the beginning. To best support grandfamilies Congress must move policies to better coordinate and enhance services for children and youth in relative care, evaluate and collect data on kinship diversion and prevention models, and preserve existing flexible funding sources. Not only is supporting families a must-have, but as the President said: “It’s the right thing to do.”

Making Community College Free
To boost our economy, the President called on Congress to pass legislation that makes community college free to help those “young and starting out” as well as those “older and looking for a better job.” We applaud President Obama for wanting to make free community college as universal “…as high school is today.” Generations United urges policymakers to go even further and reinstate the Student Benefit, which extended Social Security child benefits that helped thousands of young adults pursue higher education. Reinstating the Student Benefit helps today’s students become the educated workforce our country’s economy needs.

Throughout his remarks, the President called on all Americans to work together towards a common ground. President Obama cited examples with the 50th anniversary of the march from Selma to Montgomery, which Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. led to advocate voting rights for African-Americans living in Alabama.

This past weekend, Generations United challenged older adults to take a young person to see Selma and have a discussion about the Voting Rights Act, one way of passing down the value of civic engagement. Policymakers should go even further and incentivize 100 percent voter turnout through state competition. They can also allow same-day registration for voting nationwide and promote participatory budgeting experiments at the federal, state and local levels.

Over and over again, the President used the tight-knit family metaphor for America. Generations United agrees that young and old should stand united as an interdependent American family. Why? Because we are stronger together.

Holidays are not always merry and bright

by Jaia Peterson Lent

as published in GRAND Magazine

Conner stood attentively at the screen door, his bright brown eyes fixed on the street in front of his grandmother's house, his hands clutching a clay figurine of a turkey he had made for his mom. She had promised to come for Thanksgiving dinner.

“One slice of turkey, three peas, two helpings of mashed potatoes, five books, and four rounds of Crazy Eights later, Connor was still waiting. “It’s bedtime,” his grandmother said, “How about we change into our pj’s and watch your favorite show?”

“No,” Connor shouted, “I want to watch it with Mommy!” Within minutes, his hurt feelings escalated to full-blown tantrum.

Three hours later, Conner was finally asleep, his head resting on his Grandpa's lap. His grandmother gently slid the clay turkey figurine out of Conner's hand, and covered him and his sleeping Grandpa with a blanket. Only then could she breathe a little easier.

Meeting the challenges that come with holidays

This time of year, more than 2.7 million grandparents raising grandchildren find themselves navigating a unique set of holiday stressors. Not only do they have to prepare their grandchildren for the possibility that the children’s parents won’t show up—they have to steel themselves to weather the fallout, all while simultaneously juggling their own loss, grief, anger, and confusion related to the reasons their adult child is not able to care for their grandchild.

Despite the gaiety one hopes to experience during the holidays, grandchildren not living with their parents often feel a mixture of joy, anxiety, excitement, and sadness. No matter their age, grandchildren may not know how to deal with the emotional swings that come with disappointment, or even with pleasant surprises. What you need is a GRANDfamily strategy!

Manage the children’s expectations: If you know that their parents will not be participating in any way during the holiday celebrations, gently tell your grandchildren ahead of time. That way, if the parents show up or send a present, it’s far easier to share the good news. If the parents don’t show, it may soften the blow and help them avoid feeling forgotten or ignored.

Support the child’s desire to give: Children love their parents, even when they have been hurt by them. It’s important to let them express how they feel. During holidays, this may come through giving. Even if you fear it won’t be reciprocated, it’s important to help them find joy in giving.

Keep it simple: You can’t be everything to everyone. Figure out the few key people that your grandchildren need to see over the holidays and focus on making those gatherings the best they can be.

Create your own traditions: Children need routine, tradition, and rituals. When they had to leave mom and/or dad's home, the rituals they had were interrupted. Holidays are a terrific time to introduce some new fun traditions that don’t revolve around parents.

Jaia Peterson Lent is the Deputy Executive Director at Generations United, a national organization dedicated to improving the lives of children, youth and older people through intergenerational collaboration, public policy and programs. Home to the National Center on Grandfamilies, Generations United is a leading voice for issues affecting families headed by grandparents or other relatives.

A Grandfamily's Unexpected Strengths

Barbara Wells is a case manager at the Program for
Recovery & Community Health in Yale University
School of Medicine's Department of Psychiatry

Barbara Wells knows a thing or two about adversity – how it can either break you or tap unexpected strengths.

As someone who succeeds at challenges, the biggest one came for the single grandmother in 2006, when her grandson, Jay’son, moved in with her after his parents' incarceration.

Until that moment, Wells, whose grown daughters had their own children, enjoyed her life in Newport News, VA., where she lived for 17 years and worked as a crane operator at a shipyard.

The freedom to travel allowed her to take off for New Haven, CT., after her mom’s heart attack in 1992.

And, while boarding a bus back to Newport News, Wells's right foot went through a snow-covered pothole before she lost her grip and her left foot slipped on the ice. 

She broke her right leg in five places. 

When doctors told her she would never work a crane again, she decided to stay in New Haven and go back to school.

Her life before Jay’son looked like this: finish school, move back to Newport News and work as a social worker.

Nowhere in those plans included a second parenthood raising a grandchild. “Since I had to get him, I said, ‘I’m going to raise him now. I’m not going to let him go into the system,’” she recalled. “‘I’m going to put my life on hold for right now.”

That was eight years ago. “Now,” the grandmother said, “there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.”

Wells is among the 2.7 million older Americans raising one or more grandchildren under age 18, according to 2012 census data. “Of these caregivers,” data reports, “1.7 million were grandmothers and 1.0 million were grandfathers.”

This grandfamily's new light includes Jay'son, 14, starting high school at New Haven’s Metropolitan Business Academy. “I’m very proud of him,” Wells said. “Most children who are not living with their parents have some type of behavioral problems.”

But through therapy, she said, “he’s doing such a remarkable job.”

And so is Wells, who recently graduated from Southern Connecticut State University with her Masters in Social Work.

The grandmother, who’s a case manager in Yale University School of Medicine’s Department of Psychiatry, is even thinking of relocating with her grandson to Maryland, North Carolina or Florida for full-time work and a fresh start.

Jay’son’s got his eyes set on Virginia, which piqued his interest during a recent trip to Newport News. When asked how he felt about moving, he told her, “I will just have to meet new friends.”

While their days are brighter, Wells recalls those dark times that nearly broke them. “When he was younger, it was a little tough,” the grandmother said.

She recalled 6-year-old Jay’son often worrying about his future. “Grandma, how am I going to be able to take care of myself?” he asked her. “I’m afraid.”

The anger came when he got older. “He didn’t want to go to school,” the grandmother said.

About 7.8 million children, like Jay’son, across the country live in
Grandfamilies, or households headed by grandparents or other relatives.

Just when she and Jay’son thought they reached their breaking point, they tapped unexpected strengths.

Wells found hers in New Haven's services for grandparents raising grandchildren, her friends and family, and even her grandson.

Through The Consultation Center’s Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Program - funded by the Agency on Aging of South Central Connecticut - the grandmother’s resources included support groups, parenting skills training, respite opportunities and legislative advocacy.

The Kinship Fund, which the Connecticut Children's Trust Fund runs, helped Wells make the financial adjustments to care for Jay’son.

When the social worker, an undergrad student at the time, had to make her 7 a.m. classes, her family and friends – especially Jay’son’s paternal grandparents – took care of him.

“Grandpa Johnnie was close to the only positive male role model in his life,” she said, crediting Grandpa Johnnie and his wife for helping her reach her goals.

“It is alright to co-grandparent,” said Wells, adding that she and Jay’son’s other grandparents call each other “grandparents-in-law.” “They have been right there by my side.”

When school nearly broke her, Jay’son was another unexpected strength. “He’s a very intelligent young man despite his diagnosis of ADHD,” Wells said, remembering an undergrad video project her class partner sat on until the last minute.

Barbara Wells (center), posing with her daughters and Jay'son, holds a grandson
who lives with his mom in Dubai.

When Wells’s classmate lost their recording on her way home, “Jay’son and I were up at 3 o’clock in the morning,” she recalled. “He recorded the video and made sure I had it ready for class the next day.”

During grad school, he helped Wells with her PowerPoint presentations.

As for Jay’son’s unexpected strength, it came from his grandmother.

During those undergrad days, when Wells couldn’t find a sitter, she took her grandson to school with her. Watching his grandmother study hard inspired Jay’son to take his education seriously.

“It’s nice to show children what college is about,” she said.

Now, he won’t stop talking about it. “He understands that you can pick your classes on the days you want, if they’re available,” the social worker said. “He loved it.”

Wells’s classmates also loved having him around.

Now, it’s hard for the social worker to imagine her days without Jay’son, even as she recalls how her life changed that night in 2006.

“When I first got Jay’son,” Wells recalled, “I had to seek services for him.”

A stranger at a center surprised Wells with her reaction. “Are you going to take  your grandkid?” the woman said. “Oh, I would never do that.”

Despite those concerns, Wells has no regrets. “It was tough,” she said, “but the joy I get out of watching him grow into a nice, respectable young man was worth it.”

Generations United Statement on the Preventing Sex Trafficking and Strengthening Families Act

Generations United applauds the bicameral, bipartisan agreement on the Preventing Sex Traffickingand Strengthening Families Act (H.R. 4980) for recognizing and supporting the needs of grandfamilies, families where children are being raised by grandparents or other relatives either inside or outside of the formal foster care system.

Specifically, children being raised in grandfamilies will benefit from the provisions which: 

• extend kinship navigators and family finding through Family Connection Grants,
• expand the adoption incentives program to include permanent guardianships and increase incentives for older youth,
• promote “normalcy” for children in foster care including kinship foster care,
• more fully engage youth in planning for their permanency,
• require adoption assistance de-link savings to be reinvested in post-permanency services, and
• preserve eligibility for kinship guardianship assistance payments with a successor guardian.

While we affirm these important steps to supporting grandfamilies, we elevate the need for further reforms and ladders to stability and permanency for children.   In particular we are committed to working with both parties to ensure the Family Connection Grants are extended beyond the current year. These grants support kinship navigator programs, one of the few sources of information and support for grandfamilies who are both keeping children with extended family and saving taxpayers more than $6.5 billion each year by keeping children out of foster care.

Generations United looks forward to supporting future efforts related to child welfare finance reform and ensuring the availability of additional prevention, post-permanency services and other supports for grandfamilies who step up to raise children when they cannot remain with their birth parents.

Thank you for your commitment to ensuring safe, stable and permanent homes for children and preserving their family and cultural ties whenever possible.

Meet Adam Otto - Generations United Summer Intern

Adam Otto

How many young adults today learned how to play bridge or heard insider details of World War II? 

I have because of the time I’ve spent with older adults.

That’s what makes my interest in intergenerational issues personal.

I lived with my grandparents for about 15 years, and they were very involved in my life before that. Because of this, I know firsthand some of the difficulties that grandfamilies face.

My grandmother is a strong advocate for kinship care issues. In the past, I worked with her local Relatives as Parents Program group, where I learned about various policy issues.

Now, I’m a 24 year old graduate of Shepherd University in Shepherdstown, WV.

I’m also an intern at Generations United. Most of my work here will focus on grandfamilies and be research and policy related.

During my time here, I’ve enjoyed attending meetings on topics ranging from neighborhood revitalization initiatives to child hunger program reforms.

In June, I’ll also be working on “Raising Caregiver Voices,” an advocacy training session that will help form a “grandnetwork” in addition to training a new generation of advocates.

I’ll also take part in the release of the joint advocacy agenda, Advocates for Families First, in collaboration with the Annie E. Casey Foundation, the North American Council on Adoptable Children, and the National Foster Parents Association to be held at the Capitol Visitor Center on June 18.

My interests span beyond kinship care policies to intergenerational collaboration.

Since I grew up around older adults, not only am I aware of senior issues, but I also feel my time around them really enriched my life and gave me experiences unique to the typical young adult.

Many seniors are eager to share their years of knowledge and experience.

There is also a lot the youth can offer seniors. A youth’s vitality and enthusiasm can be invigorating for an older adult.

For several years, I spent time with a feisty woman in her 90s. I ran various errands and tasks that she couldn’t do alone.

Even though she has since passed on, I’ll cherish our friendship for the rest of my life and make use of what she taught me. 

I’m excited to be working at Generations United, helping to advocate for intergenerational issues, giving back to the people who helped me along the way.

Grand Success Stories: Anika Rahman

As president and CEO for the Ms. Foundation for Women, Anika Rahman works for equality for genders. Rahman’s interest in gender equality began in her childhood. Growing up in Bangladesh, Rahman found herself surrounded by strong and smart women who were treated unjustly.

Rahman experienced the inequities firsthand. After her mother divorced her father, an uncommon occurrence in Bangladesh, Rahman saw how society treated her mother as an outcast. Then, after she and her mother moved in with her grandmother and aunt, Rahman observed how “my grandmother ran all the finances, she made the business decisions, and even helped build houses, yet she couldn’t have a job.”

Those experiences and others inspired Rahman to advocate for gender equality. "For many years, I assumed that all women had been brought up with the same, empowering mentality [that I’d had]. I later realized that my grandmother's vision was revolutionary not only for her time, but also for ours," she said.

Rahman has spent her adulthood fighting for the dignity of women. The strength her elder female family members provided her continues on through her legacy. “These three incredibly strong women taught me to be unbowed by injustice, to fight it and to be tenacious. I am who I am because of what they taught me. I fight for women's rights and for human dignity for them and for my daughter.”

To read more inspiring stories of people raised in grandfamilies, download Generations United publication Grand Successes: Stories of Lives Well-Raised today!

Social Security Success Stories: Morrisella Middleton

Morrisella Middleton didn’t anticipate that she would need to care for her daughter’s children, but she gladly accepted the responsibility. Despite the day-to-day difficulties that arose, the Baltimore resident raised her grandchildren while working hard as a supervisor of an assisted living facility to provide a good life for them.

Although her daughter Yolanda was married with two children, she fought problems with drugs. Their father Shane Morrell, Sr. held a construction job renovating old houses. One day he was rushed to the hospital coughing up blood. Shortly after he recovered, he experienced another coughing attack with even more blood. Doctors ran tests and determined that Shane had mesothelioma, a form of cancer most often associated with the inhalation of asbestos. His physician told him he never saw such an advanced case in such a young man before and gave him just more six months to live.

“I knew it was important that Shane spend as much time with his kids as possible,” Morrisella said, “so I took them all over town to hospitals, clinics, wherever he was at for his treatments.” His condition worsened. In four months, Shane landed in hospice care.

Morrisella threw a Super Bowl party for him in his hospice room, improving Shane’s spirits. But the day after the party, he took a turn for the worse. When she visited him that day, he told her that he wasn’t going to live much longer.

“He was really weak, could barely move,” Morrisella said. “He was trying to talk to me and I watched him slowly reach over and open a drawer to his night stand.” He pulled out brand-new copies of some paperwork, including his Social Security card that the hospice staff had helped him obtain, and then handed them to her.

“Miss Morrisella,” he said, “please take care of my son.” He also handed her an envelope with some money and instructed her to give it to Shane Jr. at Christmas. Two days later, Shane Sr. was gone.

“Their father died about 11 years ago. I’ve raised their daughter Laquanna since she was four and Shane Jr. since he was three, right after his father’s death,” Morrisella said. “Laquanna is 23 now and Shane is 17, so it’s been quite a while.”

After caring for the children for several years, Morrisella’s world crumbled around her in 2007. Diagnosed with congestive heart failure, malignant hypertension and cancer, she needed to go on disability. A year later, her daughter Yolanda died.

Shortly thereafter, Morrisella lost 80% of her wealth during the economic downturn. She needed to rely completely on Social Security including her contributions from her past employment and the survivor benefits that Laquanna and Shane received.

“Social Security has been my lifeline – my only lifeline,” Morrisella said. “It’s been critical for me in raising the children and their future. Thank goodness for the survivor benefits for the kids and what I contributed to in the 44 years I have worked. It’s been my only token to get by.”

She says her experience taught her what Social Security can mean to a family, something she never fails to communicate to the children.

“I tell my grandkids all the time of the importance of Social Security,” she said. “It’s important to get a job, to pay into the system. It could make a huge difference in your life. It certainly has in mine.”

With her cancer in remission, Morrisella looks forward to a new endeavor: volunteering at a local hospital to help other cancer patients through their treatments.

“My first instinct has always been to hurry up and get better soon and get back to work,” she said, “and that’s what I’ve been trying to do.”

For more Social Security success stories, download Generations United’s publication Social Security: What’s at Stake for Children, Youth and Older Adults.

Grand Success Stories: Ray Krise

A year before Ray Krise was born, a Skokomish spiritual leader cautioned his grandparents that they needed to change their ways because a future grandchild’s life was at stake. Turned out that life was Ray’s.

Although Steve and Naomi Johns long ago had strayed far from their tribal roots, they were swayed by the wise man’s prophesy. Under his guidance, they gave up alcohol and began studying their ancestors’ ancient ways so they could pass on their identity and culture. A year later, they felt blessed to be able to take in their newborn grandson, Ray, because his parents couldn’t care for him. Eventually, young Ray’s grandfather became a great spiritual and tribal leader and, from 1965 until his death in 1980, was an elder in the Native American Shaker Church. His grandmother became known as one of the best fishermen among the Skokomish—a great honor in tribal tradition.

“If not for being raised by my grandparents, I would not have a cultural identity,” Krise explains. “I wouldn’t know my family lineage and my son would not bear the name Tcha-LQad—a name that is 17 generations old.

“My grandparents raised me in old, traditional ways—no running the streets or going to dances like other kids my age. Instead, I was involved in the spiritual side of life. My passion was going to drum circles and listening to old people talk and perform ceremonies. That helped me develop a real sense of pride and belonging.”

When asked about his grandparents, Krise had no difficulty finding words to describe them. “My grandfather was probably one of the kindest men I’ve ever known,” Krise recalls of the man who taught him to carve totem poles. “He was also a leader. I was proud to accompany him when he stood beside Marlon Brando during the fishing wars in the 1970s. That’s when the Skokomish and other coastal tribes were fighting for the right to fish in waterways off the reservation.”

Although Krise lost his grandfather in 1980, his grandmother was in his life until 2005. “She was the most beautiful woman in the world, very caring and always giving of her own. My cousin and I took care of her until her last days. It was a privilege.”

Today, Krise is a highly respected community spiritual leader, among other roles, having trained to be a speaker and hereditary chief since he was 11 years old.

Krise is also a father and grandfather. “It’s pretty awesome having my children and grandchildren in my life. We live on the same property and sing the same songs my grandparents sang to me as a baby. I’m thankful every day for how I was brought up in life.”

To read more inspiring stories of people raised in grandfamilies, download Generations United publication Grand Successes: Stories of Lives Well-Raised today!

Grand Success Stories: Stacey Walker

Stacey Walker was four, his little sister Cymone just one when their mother was murdered in Buffalo, New York. With no father in the picture, the siblings were facing an uncertain life at the hands of child authorities until their grandmother, Shirley Martin, made the choice that she would take them in.

It was a tumultuous time for everyone. The children had lost their mother, Shirley had lost a daughter, and all were grieving. After bringing the children from Buffalo to her home in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Shirley had to confront a daunting reality: how to provide for two young children on a nurse’s aide salary. Truth was, she was nearing the end of her career—she was well into her 50’s—and she worked the night shift. Money had always been tight, but now she needed to hire a babysitter to look after her grandchildren while she toiled through the night tending to sick patients and filing medical records in the basement of one of two hospitals in the town.

“Things were tough psychologically for my grandmother,” explains Stacey. “Here she was trying to come to grips with the murder of her daughter and adjusting to the fact that she would once again assume a parenting role for two very young kids.”

“Things were tough financially, as well. My grandmother already lived in a government housing project, and although her salary had been enough to keep her afloat, she now had all sorts of new expenses: clothes, food, toys—all the basics any young child needs, multiplied by two.”

Stacey remembers that his grandmother never complained and tackled her new situation the way she always had—with strength and determination.

“She made a lot of sacrifices for us, and ended up retiring early so she could raise us. She had to buy a car to get us from place to place, another added expense. Before we arrived, my grandmother would walk to and from work.” Stacey recalls. “We barely made it financially.”

What saved them, he says, were the Social Security survivor benefits the children received because their mother had died.

“I bristle when people try to paint Social Security as merely a retirement plan for older folks who didn’t work hard enough to save for themselves,” Stacey says. “Many people have no idea how much survivor benefits mean to families whose head of household has died or is permanently disabled. I know for a fact that we could not have made it without those benefits.”

But thanks to those benefits, and an incredible woman named Shirley Martin, Stacey today is a successful man. He is a Field Organizer for President Barack Obama’s re-election campaign. 

Stacey was a success long before he worked for Obama’s re-election campaign. “I was always quite different from other kids in my neighborhood,” Stacey notes. “I had several interests, including sports, music, and debate. Those things cost money; money we didn’t have. But my grandmother always figured a way to make it work.”

Stacey remembers one incident in particular. “As a sophomore in high school, I was selected to attend a leadership conference in Washington, DC. Needless to say, we didn’t have the money for me to attend.

“At the time I had an internship with one of the most well-respected law firms in the state of Iowa. So, on her own—and without my knowledge—my grandmother approached each partner and asked for a donation to send me to the conference. They all contributed. Then, my grandmother persuaded our church to take up two offerings to support my trip.”

The leadership conference proved to be a critical juncture in Stacey’s life. From there, Stacey went on to earn a BA from the University of Iowa in 2010. But his college years were markedly different from those of his peers. In 2006, the Boys & Girls Clubs of America tapped Stacey to serve as their National Spokesperson. In that role, he travelled around the globe to address various groups and advance the organization’s mission. For his efforts, he was awarded the Presidential Service Award by President George W. Bush..

Through the Boys & Girls Club, Stacey learned about Generations United. In 2008, he attended the Third National GrandRally that brought together grandfamilies from around the country to push for national policy initiatives surrounding fairness in federal benefits for intergenerational families.

“At the rally, Donna Butts [executive director of Generations United] approached me and said that there was an opportunity for me to meet with staff for Senator Charles Grassley of Iowa to talk about the need for supportive policies for grandfamilies,” Stacey explains. I did, and after our chat, the Senator introduced legislation that supported our policy goals and eventually became law.”

More recently, Stacey has had the honor to work closely with members of the President’s Council on Jobs and Competitiveness, which involved enacting parts of the President’s economic agenda, including the JOBS Act.

Pretty impressive for a guy whose early life was so tumultuous. And, as he’ll tell you, he owes it all to his grandmother.

To read more inspiring stories of people raised in grandfamilies, download Generations United publication Grand Successes: Stories of Lives Well-Raised today!

Grand Success Stories: Don Thompson

When you have the support of a grandmother like Rosa Martin, anything is possible—even rising to the top of the world’s biggest foodservice company. Just ask Don Thompson.

Thompson, the newly-minted president and CEO of McDonald’s, credits his success to his grandmother’s love and encouragement. Thompson spent his early childhood in a rough area of Chicago, where his grandmother raised him from the time he was two weeks old. When Thompson was ten, his grandmother decided she needed to raise her grandson in a safer environment, so the two moved to Indianapolis.

Thompson’s entrepreneurial spirit began at a young age, and was directly affected by his grandmother and her friends. "When I was 11 years old, I printed up little business cards and distributed them in a nearby convalescent home," Thompson told the Franchise Times, "The residents hired me to do errands or clean their apartments."

That entrepreneurial spirit, coupled with Rosa Martin’s emphasis on education, led Thompson to enroll at Purdue University’s School of Engineering. "My grandmother gave everything she had to get me into and through Purdue," Thompson told Black Enterprise magazine in 2007. After earning his bachelor’s degree in electrical engineering, Thompson worked in aeronautics until an executive recruiter came calling. The recruiter was pitching a job that involved working with robotics and control circuitry for one of the best-known corporations in the world: McDonalds. Thompson accepted the offer and began a 22-year ascent to the top.

Now that Thompson is leading an internationally popular fast-food chain, he still remembers where he came from and the important role his grandmother played in his success. According to the Chicago Sun-Times, when Rosa Martin was told that her grandson was McDonald’s newest CEO, she began crying, saying, “I must have done something right.”

To read more inspiring stories of people raised in grandfamilies, download Generations United publication Grand Successes: Stories of Lives Well-Raised today!

Grand Success Stories: Jamie Foxx

Triple threat Jamie Foxx—singer, actor, and comedian—attributes his great accomplishments to the guidance of his grandparents, Mark and Estelle Talley. They played a big part in his upbringing, taking him in as an infant when his parents split.

Foxx said that living with his grandparents was very fulfilling. "Any gaps—emotional gaps, spiritual gaps—my adopted parents filled them. So I didn't skip a beat. I was never short on the love of a mother and father, though it came from an earlier generation of family.”

At every step of the way, his grandparents’ devotion was obvious.When Foxx was in school, they attended the budding athlete’s sporting events religiously; his own father did not, despite living close by. “I was puzzled. Why couldn't he drive 28 miles to check on a son who passed a football more than 1,000 yards?” Foxx questioned. It was his grandparents who cheered him on every step of the way.

From the beginning, Estelle Talley knew her grandson was meant for greatness.“ She saw me reading early, saw I was smart and believed I was born to achieve truly special things. She was my first acting teacher,” he recalled in his Oscar-acceptance speech. She also nurtured Foxx’s musical talent, enrolling him in piano lessons at a young age. Undoubtedly these lessons helped Foxx earn his Oscar-winning performance as Ray Charles in the film Ray.

“My grandmother was a confident woman. I think about what she must've endured during the sixties, when she was starting her own day-care business. She could walk
into a bank filled with white folks and say, ’Let me speak to so and so.’ She knew who she was.And with the love she and my grandfather extended to me, she passed on that confidence.”

To read more inspiring stories of people raised in grandfamilies, download Generations United publication Grand Successes: Stories of Lives Well-Raised today!

Grand Success Stories: Naomi Porter

My grandmother was very important in creating the person I am today,” Naomi Porter, 25, says during a break from her work as an AmeriCorps employee. “Before moving in with my grandmother at the age of 12, my life had been a mess. She gave me the love, structure and support I needed to overcome any challenges
I might face.”

Naomi has had her share of challenges. From the time she was born, until she went to live with her grandmother, she had lived a chaotic life that included three different stays in foster homes. “My sister and I entered foster care when we were very young because our mother had substance abuse issues and couldn’t find stable employment. Because of that, she basically neglected my sister and me,” Naomi explains. “Neighbors saw what was going on and called 911.”

By the time she entered the foster system for the four time, Naomi was inured to the pain of being uprooted. While foster care had not exactly become routine, it
had occurred enough times that she had no expectations except to be prepared for the worst.'

“When my sister and I showed up on my grandmother’s doorstep, she was somewhat a stranger to us,” Naomi recalls. “Because of my mother’s problems, we
hadn’t seen much of my grandmother. Even so, she never hesitated to take us in.”

Life at her grandmother’s was far different from anything Naomi or her sister had ever known. “Our biggest challenge was getting used to the amount of structure in
our grandmother’s home. We weren’t used to rules and chores, and didn’t even know about the basics, like making the bed and washing dishes. And we certainly weren’t used to someone being involved in school.”

“I rebelled some; didn’t do homework, and talked back. But my grandmother has a very strong personality; she was not bending. And even though I didn’t like it, I knew
I needed it. My grandmother was very important in creating the person I am today. She gave me a safe place to hang out and put everything back together. She helped
me become a balanced person and not engage in behavior that would affect me badly.”

“The blood connection shielded me from a lot of embarrassment during my teenage years. I didn’t have to worry about the stigma of not having a mother care for me and it helped me gain a greater sense of self. The obligation my grandmother felt toward me gave me a concept of what family is about.”

Today, Naomi works at The Belle Center, a nonprofit modeled after the Harlem Children’s Zone, which works to help shape young people’s lives. Her current job is in
keeping with her future goals: she wants to be a college professor and would like to direct a nonprofit that serves young people. Naomi already holds an associate’s degree and is working toward a bachelor’s. Ultimately, she intends to get a master’s in business administration and public administration.

The concept of family has come full circle for Naomi. In February 2012, she moved back in with her grandmother who was injured in a three-car accident. Now it’s Naomi who serves as the nurturer and caregiver—a role she savors. “My grandmother is doing better now after a lot of physical therapy. She’s walking again. I plan to stay with her until I get married or she moves into assisted living. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

To read more inspiring stories of people raised in grandfamilies, download Generations United publication Grand Successes: Stories of Lives Well-Raised today!

Grand Success Stories: Felix Sanchez

One of the many lessons we learned from the London Olympics: Never underestimate the power of a grandmother’s love and devotion.

That power was on display in the Olympic men’s 400-meter hurdles. It’s what made Felix Sanchez overcome years of injuries and claim the gold medal just a few weeks shy of his 35^th birthday.

As he ran the most important race of his life, he’d kept his grandmother’s memory close to his heart. Pinned beneath his bib was a photo of his beloved “Abuela,” Lilian Morcelo, the Dominican grandmother who had raised him. After crossing the finish line, he knelt down, placed the photo on the ground, knelt down and kissed it. "It was extra motivation," Sanchez told reporters. "It was a reminder of why I came here and what this year meant to me."

The gold medal he won that night in London wasn’t his first, but it was his most memorable. Eight years earlier, at the 2004, Olympics in Athens, he’d struck gold, and expected to do the same in Beijing in 2008. But it was not to be. On the first day of the qualifying heats, Sanchez learned the devastating news that his 72-year-old grandmother had died.

"I got [the] news on the morning of the first round in Beijing that she had died," he explained. "That affected me. I cried the whole day. I ran, but I ran badly, and I made a promise that day that I would win a medal for her. It took me four years.”

Those four years would be filled with hope and punctuated by injuries. But throughout it all, Sanchez kept thinking of that promise and all the sacrifices his grandmother had made for him. "She was everything," Sanchez said. "She was the center of our family and kept everyone together.” She was his inspiration.

Along with pinning his grandmother’s photo to his bib in London, Sanchez had printed the word “Abuela” on his spikes. Abuela—Spanish for grandmother and a loving nod to the woman who raised a champion.

To read more inspiring stories of people raised in grandfamilies, download Generations United publication Grand Successes: Stories of Lives Well-Raised today!

 

Photo Credit: Felix Sanchez victory lap of honour, London 2012 Olympics
© 2012 Egghead06, used under a Creative Commons AttributionShareAlike license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Grand Success Story: Barack Obama

As Generations United celebrate Grandparents Day and honor the contributions of grandparents in children’s lives, we are proud to announce the release of Grand Successes: Stories of lives well-raised. Grand Successes tells the stories of just some of the many successful individuals raised by their grandparents or other grandfamilies. Today we’re featuring the story of President Barack Obama. 

The President of the United States had a very close relationship with his grandparents during his childhood in Hawaii. The values grandparents instill in their grandchildren have great implications, and this could not be more evident than for the grandparents of the commander in chief of the country.

Obama’s parents were married for only a short time after his birth. Obama Sr. was a native of Kenya, and returned to Africa while his son was still young. Obama’s mother married a man from Indonesia shortly after her divorce from Obama Sr. and took her son with her to Indonesia. When Obama was ten years old, he returned to Hawaii and to his loving grandparents.

 

“Toot” (the affectionate nickname Obama had for his grandmother) and Stanley Dunham raised their grandson with love and sacrifice, even sending him to a prestigious school in Hawaii. Speaking about his grandmother, Obama said, "She's the one who put off buying a new car or a new dress for herself so that I could have a better life. She poured everything she had into me." Obama also credits his determination to his grandmother. “She's where I get my practical streak. That part of me that's hardheaded, I get from her. She's tough as nails." His grandmother helped support her grandchildren by working at a bank, at a time when far fewer women were in the workforce.

Toot passed away just two days before Obama was elected as President in 2008. A month prior to her passing, Obama had taken a respite from campaigning to visit with his ailing grandmother. Although Toot was not able to see her grandson “Barry” become the commander in chief of the United States, she undoubtedly was proud of all that he had achieved.

Perhaps this is why the First Lady’s mother also lives in the White House. The President understands the importance of a relationship with a grandparent.

 

To read more inspiring stories of people raised in grandfamilies, download Generations United publication Grand Successes: Stories of Lives Well-Raised today!

Grand Success Story: Kelli Pickler

As Generations United celebrate Grandparents Day and honor grandparents, we are proud to announce the release of Grand Successes: Stories of lives well-raised. Grand Successes tells the stories of just some of the many successful individuals raised by their grandparents or other grandfamilies.

Like Shea McClellin and Jimmy Wayne, country singer and American Idol alum Kelli Pickler has found fame and success because of the support and love of her grandparents. Pickler has been involved with Generations United for some time, and lent her voice to celebrate and encourage other grandfamily caregivers and children at the 2008 GrandRally.

When asked how she found the courage to audition for American Idol, Kelli Pickler has a ready answer: her grandparents, Faye and Clyde Pickler. The bubbly, energetic country singer says her grandparents’ love and devotion gave her the confidence to forge ahead with a singing career.

Pickler’s parents had had a tumultuous relationship, separating when she was just two years old. Her father struggled with addictions to drugs and alcohol and couldn’t care for her properly. Consequently, Pickler’s grandparents became her primary caregivers when she was very young. Their willingness to step up and provide the best for Pickler is undoubtedly a great factor in the singer’s success.

Pickler’s grandmother, Faye, piqued her interest in music. “[My grandmother] had a collection of children's books, and one of those was a songbook. We would sit on the swing on the front porch, and I would just sing my heart out,” Pickler recalls.

But it was her grandfather, Clyde, who took Pickler to her American Idol audition and succeeded in calming her before her performance. “He said, ‘Sit down Kelli, we're here now, what do you have to lose?’” The rest is history—Pickler had nothing to lose, and all to gain.

Music saved Pickler when her grandmother passed away while Pickler was still in high school. Like any great artist, she eased her pain through a creative outlet. Her first album closes with a song called “My Angel,” a heartfelt tribute to her grandmother.

Pickler has not shied away from opportunities to encourage those who find themselves in situations similar to hers growing up. Demonstrating her appreciation for the care and support of her grandparents and the millions of grandparents raising grandchildren across the U.S., Picker sang “My Angle,” and spoke words of encouragement to nearly 1000 grandparents raising grandchildren and their supporters at a national GrandRally in front of the U.S. Capitol in Washington D.C. in 2008.

And Pickler’s tribute to her grandmother travels with her wherever she goes. Each time Pickler climbs into the RV that serves as her home away from home while on tour, she’s reminded of her beloved “Grandma.”  The name she gave her RV? Faye.

 

To read more inspiring stories of people raised in grandfamilies, download Generations United publication Grand Successes: Stories of Lives Well-Raised today!

Grand Success Story: Jimmy Wayne

You probably know Jimmy Wayne as a country music star, but do you know the story of how he got to where he is today?

Jimmy Wayne grew up in Kings Mountain, North Carolina with his older sister and mother. By the time he was 14, he had been in and out of the foster care system and attended 12 different schools in two years. His mother was in prison, and he and his sister Patricia were on their own. It was not an easy life for a bright and gifted child. When he was 15 years old, he found himself in juvenile detention for running away from a group home. At 16, he was living on the streets, until one fateful day when he met Bea and Russell Costner. The older couple were in their 70s when they met Jimmy. They gave him a home, the ability to complete his education and most of all, stability and love.

"If the Costners hadn't stepped up and given me a home, I would not have survived," Wayne says. "Every good thing that has happened to me, I owe to them taking a chance on a long haired, tattooed kid. The day I rode my bike by their place, and stopped and asked if they had any work I could do was a turning point in my life."

 

Check back throughout the week to read more Grand Success Stories!

Grand Success Story: Shea McClellin

To celebrate Grandparents Day and the 2012 NFL season Kick Off, we’re sharing a great success story from Shea McClellin, Defensive End for the Chicago Bears.

When #99 takes the field today with the Chicago Bears, he looks forward to once again knowing his grandparents will be rooting for him. “They have been my foundation and walked with me every step of the way. It takes talent and speed to be a good defensive end, but it also takes heart—and for that I have my grandparents to thank.

The up and coming football star, Shea McClellin, has his grandparents to thank for his hard work ethic and perseverance. McClellin, the first round draft pick for the Chicago Bears this year, was raised by his grandparents Terry and Jerry on a farm in Idaho.

McClellin moved in with his grandparents as a baby when his young mother found it challenging to provide for her son. He has maintained a relationship with his mother, who is very grateful for the support of her parents. ‘‘I’m glad they were able to help, and I’m glad he stayed in the family. I’m very proud of him. He deserves it all,’’ she said.

“It was a joy taking care of him,” explains McClellin’s grandmother, “He kept me young. He absolutely kept me young.” And he was not the only child to grow up in his grandparents household. Jerry and Terry McClellin also raised four children of their own and multiple foster children many of whom live with them from when they were in diapers through high school.

Although McClellin’s passion is football, he played multiple sports throughout middle school and high school. And Terry was there cheering him on every step of the way. McClellin once told his grandmother, ‘‘I just look to see where you’re sitting in the stands and when I see you, I know it’s okay and I can play.”

The values that Jerry and Terry instilled into their grandson are now being passed on to others. Recently, McClellin headed back to Marsing, Idaho to speak to students on the importance of setting goals and dreaming big.

 

You can read more about Shea and other touching stories from individuals across the country raised by their grandparents in our upcoming publication: “Grand Successes”. Check back later this week for the release of our new publication!

Generations United Releases Infographic on “Grandparents in the United States”

As the number of grandparents continues to grow in the U.S. so does the impact they make on their grandchildren. This infographic from Generations United presents just some of the ways grandparents in the United States are “doing something grand” for children and youth.

We would love your help in getting the word out about this new resource:

Share the Infographic on Facebook
Tweet the Infographic

Download the Infographic and share on your website or blog (code to embed the infographic is available on that same site)

Generations United is committed to recognizing, promoting, and supporting not just the important intergenerational connection between grandparents and grandchildren, but between older adults and children and youth across America.

What ways are you promoting intergenerational connections? Here are some suggestions from Generations United:

• Join our Grand Faces Grand Voices campaign and make a commitment to do something grand for children and youth in your community, state, or across the nation.
• Download our Grandparents Day Take Action Guide for tools and ideas on how to make a lasting impact in your communities and for the next generation.
• Pledge your support for improved legal, health, educational, financial, and other policies for grandfamilies by signing Generations United’s Grandfamilies Pledge.