More Than a House: A Community for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

This story first appeared in our State of Grandfamilies in America: 2015 report.

In the Bronx borough of New York City, an apartment building rises above the streets, safely housing grandparents who are raising their grandchildren, giving all of them – young and old – a supportive community where they can nurture a positive family future.

The Grandparent Family Apartments building – a joint venture of PSS and the West Side Federation for Senior and Supportive Housing – has pioneered a successful model that draws attention from around the world.

“Primarily, these are situations where the grandparents have really stepped up and taken on an enormous responsibility,” said PSS Executive Director Rimas J. Jasin. “They don’t have the income or, often, the physical resources. But, family is important to them, and they’ve made the commitment to do what they can.”

The 50-unit building opened in 2005, after years of planning and intermediary measures to help the suddenly increasing number of lower-income grandparents who took custody of their grandchildren during the crack cocaine and AIDS epidemic of the 1990s. Whether in senior-only housing or in homes that became too small overnight, these grandparents needed to move.

Jasin said everyone involved understood that the adults and the children needed shelter and much more.

“That’s why we built more than an apartment. We made sure, through the PSS Kinship Program, that there is a supportive environment with social services, skill building workshops, programming for the kids, counseling, intergenerational activities, etc.”

“That’s the one big difference between our building and other similar buildings: It’s a real community, and we have staff on site who foster that value,” Jasin said. Our families know they’re part of something special, and they’re proud of that.

Plus, we’ve grown together over the last 10 years, learning from each other, so there is that dynamic of community and an expectation for people to be supporting members of that community.”

About 60 grandparents and 100 grandchildren live in the Grandparent Family Apartments. One measure of success is that last year, more than 90 percent of the children progressed to their next grade in school.

Jasin noted, “Putting into words why this place is great is hard. We’re able to help them navigate systems and situations, the grandparents support one another and, in the end, these kids have a much better chance than they would have on their own.”

The Only Safe Place He Had

This story first appeared in our State of Grandfamilies in America: 2015 report.

As a line lead for his job in the mobile canning and bottling industry, the farthest Chad Dingle has ever traveled is about five hours from his Oregon home. But, in life, he has traveled more than any 23-year-old should ever have to go.

With his mother and father trapped in alcoholism and drug abuse, Dingle spent infancy and his toddler years neglected and abused – memories that only came back in nightmares – until his grandmother could get full custody when he was 3 and she and her newly-wed husband could adopt him when he was 4, diagnosed with something not a lot of people knew about at the time: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

“One thing I’ve noticed is that most people go to grandma’s house and get spoiled,” Dingle said. “But for me, it was the only safe place I had. I never liked going back to my parents’ house. Getting to live with grandma was like ‘going to grandma’s house’ all the time. I had more love there than anywhere else in my life.”

The journey toward wholeness continued through the PTSD, bullying from other children, anger, depression, cutting, suicidal thoughts and much more. “It was a tough position (for my grandmother) to be in. She wasn’t my mom, but she was. She dropped everything, including a good job, and became a stay-at-home mom for me – everything to provide the safest home for me.”

The years of learning how to navigate the complex legal, emotional, financial and physical issues have resulted in three books written to help families in similar situations. In her book, Second Time Around: Help for Grandparents Who Raise their Children’s Kids, Dingle’s mom, Joan, stressed the critical role that quality, professional counseling and support services play in helping grandfamilies succeed and thrive. Together, Dingle and his mom wrote Addiction & Families and the just-released Raising Children of Alcoholics & Drug Users.

“It took me a long time because I was a rebel as a kid,” Dingle said. “I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that (my mom/ grandmother) did save my life. She is the strongest woman I’ve ever known. I’m a complete mama’s boy. I know where my half siblings are now – really messed up – and that could have been me.”

Today, Dingle still grapples with residual matters. For example, he said he contacted his birth father two years ago and is still trying to figure out whether he wants him in his life. “It’s been a lot,” Dingle reflected.

Yet, any miles he travels will now include his wife. “We were high school sweethearts – went to separate high schools and had about five or six years when we hardly ever saw each other,” Dingle said. And, they will include the couple’s baby, expected with great excitement this year.

“Family doesn’t have to be blood. It really comes down to the relationships you can have,” Dingle said. “Whoever loves you, and you love, is your family.”

Learn more about Chad Dingle, Joan Callander Dingle and their books.