Grandparents University

EDITOR’S NOTE: Each week, we feature intergenerational program ideas that were tried and successful. This series is a tool to highlight various age-optimized programs and practices. The program descriptions are provided by representatives of the programs. Inclusion in this series does not imply Generations United’s endorsement or recommendation, but rather encourages ideas to inspire other programs.

(PHOTO: SSEC) A Granddaughter shows off the satellite model
she constructed with her Grandfather.

This week’s cool ideas is Grandparents University, a summer camp that brings grandparents and their grandkids together for three days of fun on the campus of a college.

(Check our archives for parts 1-66.)

A variety of schools have this program, including Kansas State, Wisconsin-Madison, Oklahoma State, Western Washington, and West Chester.

This experience includes hands-on educational sessions conducted by faculty members along with other fun activities for grandparents and children ages 8 to 12.

Got something cool you tried that was successful? Why not tweet your cool intergenerational ideas to #cooligideas? You can also post them to our Intergenerational Connections Facebook Group. We want to highlight innovative age-optimized programs and practices through our blog, social media and weekly e-newsletter! Share the inspiration.

Grand School

Aaron with Grandma Grace in Ireland, outside of Kylemore Abbey
in the city of  Galway

EDITOR'S NOTE: Generations United shared an Oct. 24 Washington Post article through Facebook on millennials being caregivers to their elders. According to the article, one in four family caregivers is now 18-34. After reading this article, Aaron Larsen was moved to recount the value of his grandparents. Here's his story. 

This guest post and photos appear courtesy of Aaron Larsen, a digital marketing consultant and creator of GrandparentsAcademy.com.

In 2008, I graduated magna cum jobless and lived with my 80-year-old Grandma Grace.

At first, I felt like a complete and utter failure. I felt like I did everything right - got the grades, excelled in extra curriculars, etc. 

I did everything my wonderful teachers, counselors and society told me to do in order to get that great job out of college, but it simply wasn't in the cards. 

Because of that, I was in a bit of a dark place after graduating. I was lost. 

(PHOTO: Bill Wilhelm) Aaron with Grandma Grace, during her surprise
birthday celebration at a pub in Dublin, Ireland. 

Living with Grandma Grace at that time in my life was the blessing I needed. I taught her Facebook and she taught me the true value of family and faith. 

The next year, I decided to live with my Granny and Grandpa Grit. 

Grandpa Grit had suffered from a debilitating stroke that compromised his speech and mobility of half his body. 

Granny Grit was caring for him on her 4.5 acres of hillside country property (which included horses, dogs and a barn kitty), and was holding down a part-time job. 

Being there for Grandpa during his last year of his life was one of the toughest yet rewarding experiences. 

I learned a lot about what true grit and courage is. Most of all, I realized our time here is limited.

We must use it wisely. We must learn how to grow ourselves and others with love. 

Living with my grandparents in my 20's wasn't something I envisioned happening. It certainly wasn't mentioned in my high school valedictorian speech. 

But I believe I learned more from the "Grand School" years than I would have ever learned in Grad School. 

And even though it was unexpected and uncomfortable at times, the harvest was nothing short of divine. 

If younger generations have anything close to the experience I had, while living with and caring for grandparents, I have no doubt our society will be better for it. 

So please, next time you hear a critical word about the younger generation, please consider that maybe we aren't failing to launch by returning home to our parents or grandparents. 

Instead, we're returning to the garden to nurture the seeds that will grow the values in which our society appears to be in an ever shorter supply - faith, family, Grit and Grace.

Manor of the Plains

EDITOR’S NOTE: Each week, we feature intergenerational program ideas that were tried and successful. This series is a tool to highlight various age-optimized programs and practices. The program descriptions are provided by representatives of the programs. Inclusion in this series does not imply Generations United’s endorsement or recommendation, but rather encourages ideas to inspire other programs.

This week’s cool idea is Manor of the Plains, an adult living facility based in Kansas where residents volunteer to be matched with a student from an immigrant family, and the group meets monthly throughout the school year.

(Check our archives for parts 1-56.)

Many of the children don’t have the opportunity to see their grandparents frequently, and this program gives them an opportunity to interact with a caring older adult.

The resident volunteers also help the children learn more about Midwestern culture as they share how times have changed since they were kids.

The year ends with a joint quilting project with the students making quilt squares depicting what they’d like to do when they grow up.

Got something cool you tried that was successful? Why not tweet your cool intergenerational ideas to #cooligideas? You can also post them to our Intergenerational Connections Facebook Group. We want to highlight innovative age-optimized programs and practices through our blog, social media and weekly e-newsletter! Share the inspiration.

Grand Canyon National Park With Your Grandchild: Colorado River Rafting and a Historic Train Ride

EDITOR’S NOTE: Each week, we feature intergenerational program ideas that were tried and successful. This series is a tool to highlight various age-optimized programs and practices. The program descriptions are provided by representatives of the programs. Inclusion in this series does not imply Generations United’s endorsement or recommendation, but rather encourages ideas to inspire other programs.

In the latest of series, we feature the Grand Canyon National Park With Your Grandchild: Colorado River Rafting and a Historic Train Ride.

(Check our archives for parts 1-24.)

Colorado River Rafting and a Historic Train Ride is among the 5,500 intergenerational educational tours Road Scholar offers in all 50 states and 150 countries.

Alongside local and renowned experts, grandparents and grandchildren experience in-depth and behind-the-scenes learning opportunities, from cultural tours and study cruises to walking, biking and more.

At the Grand Canyon National Park adventure, all ages raft the Colorado River beneath towering 800-foot sandstone cliffs, free fall to the “Giant Swing” and enjoy a two-hour train ride to the South Rim of Grand Canyon National Park.

Got something cool you tried that was successful? Why not tweet your cool intergenerational ideas to #cooligideas? You can also post them to ourIntergenerational Connections Facebook Group or just text us through the FacebookMessenger app (friend me to join our Cool Intergenerational Ideas group discussion). We want to highlight innovative age-optimized programs and practices through our blog, social media and weekly e-newsletter! Share the inspiration.

Nancy Gregory - Seniors4Kids Profile

Nancy Gregory describes herself as a type-A personality. After talking with her for some time, though, you would conclude that’s she’s far more than simply driven: she’s upbeat, caring, and at a good place in her life.

“I’m a homegrown Nebraskan who has lived in enough places to know that the Midwest is where I belong,” Gregory explains. “I went to graduate school in Boston and really liked that experience, then lived for a while in West Virginia, not far from Washington, DC. But I must admit that I really came to appreciate living in the Midwest. Life seems less complicated and moves at a little slower pace. And, it’s a great place to raise kids.”

Having a great place to raise kids has taken on new meaning for Gregory ever since the birth of her first grandchild, Michael, six months ago. And it will take on even more importance when her second grandchild arrives next June.

The 50-something retiree now spends her days caring for her grandson and three toddlers – and Gregory loves what she’s doing. “I have two passions in life: children and elder care. When I was a career woman, I was a health-care administrator with Veterans Affairs, working primarily with older adults,” she notes. “Now that I’m retired I get to indulge my other passion, working with children.”

But that’s only the beginning of Gregory’s encore career. Right after she retired in 2012, she took courses to get certified as a health care administrator for elders. Once she takes her certification exam, Gregory intends to blend her two passions by finding ways to connect older and younger generations through her work and volunteerism.

“I would love to see more connection and involvement between generations. My kids grew up away from their grandparents; it wasn’t until they were teenagers that my sons became close to their grandparents. They missed out on a lot of years of sharing time with their elders, particularly when they were very young and most impressionable. I know I learned my most important life lessons from my grandpa.

“It’s critical that older adults be around to be a soft landing for kids, to spoil them and be there for them. We now know that reading and talking to kids from a very young age is critical for early brain development and functioning. Most young parents are so busy worrying about putting food on the table, they don’t have all the time they would like to nurture their children’s development, especially in those important first five years of life.  Grandparents and other older adults have the time, the life experience and the passion to spend nurturing them.”

That’s where volunteering comes in – as does Gregory’s type-A personality.

“I joined the Nebraska Early Childhood Grandparent Network because I passionately believe that older adults’ life experience is critical to their ability to effectively advocate on behalf of children and youth. They can reflect on what they’ve learned over the years and put that experience to good use. Furthermore, older adults tend to have the time to devote to being strong advocates for children of all ages, whether they’re newborns or older adolescents.

“I also think the recent government shutdown was an eye-opener because it showed us how involved the government is in so many aspects of our lives, yet that it has limited resources. We need to look instead to our retiree population to get involved and build a strong legacy for future generations. As I contemplate my future role as a health care administrator for elders, I want to explore ways I can meld my passion for older adults with my passion for kids. I plan to spend more time volunteering and encouraging others to get involved. I also plan to spend a lot of time determining how I can help intersect the generations to bring older and younger together and share life experiences.

“I’m not exactly sure how I will bring all this about, but I do know that I intend to spend the rest of my life thinking about it – and trying to make a difference.”

First Lady Sally Ganem - Seniors4Kids Profile

PHOTO: Tim Hynds, Sioux City Journal

Like many Nebraskans you’re likely to meet, Sally Ganem is fiercely devoted to her state. In fact, she calls living in Nebraska, “…an opportunity to live the good life – and make the good life great.”

And as the state’s First Lady, she’s doing all she can to make the good life great for all of Nebraska’s citizens, especially the children.

Children have always been a priority for Ganem, a mother of one son and a former elementary school principal. From her many years in education, she understands the value of high-quality early learning and care.

"In my experience as an elementary school principal, it was so easy to see the difference between those children who had been part of quality early childhood programs or parenting, and those who had not. The ones who did have those experiences came to school prepared and hungry to learn.  They had a much broader vocabulary, were better able to share with classmates, and were more excited to explore new ideas.  The learning gap between those children is larger in kindergarten, and the gap only gets larger over time, expanding throughout their educational experience."

"Educational achievement is clearly tied to later success in life. Both my husband and I understand that business development and quality early childhood learning and care experiences are one and the same. In a competitive global economy, we need workers who have been encouraged to learn, explore and achieve from their earliest days of life.  These are the children who will grow up flexible, adaptable, curious, and able to think through challenges.  These are the kinds of citizens and workers who make Nebraska great."

“I believe that parents and grandparents are the most significant teachers of young children and the most significant persons in their lives – and I hope this legacy continues,” Ganem says. “I wish every child could have a caring, loving environment in which to grow. But that’s not always the case, and we need to make sure that all of Nebraska’s youngest children have the opportunities to learn, grow and realize their full potential, especially those who face the greatest challenges in their earliest years.”

Ganem believes one way to address the needs of children and youth is through volunteerism. “Children and youth are the future of this country. We need to invest in them by giving of our time and talents,” she notes. Calling volunteerism the backbone of efforts to improve children’s lives, Ganem proudly points to the fact that Nebraskans provide more than one billion dollars annually in volunteer service.

Omaha World Herald

“When I was principal of Howard Elementary School in Fremont, I saw the tremendous positive effect our older volunteers had on students,” Ganem explains. “I can’t imagine what my school would have been like without those volunteers; they made a world of difference to the children and to our school.  They were a special and completely unique source of warmth, support and encouragement for our children, and a valued resource for our parents and staff.”

“As a state and as a country, we will be in trouble if we don’t help our young people. Children need to have a voice in our communities. Grandparents and other older adults can give them that voice by advocating on their behalf. It’s reassuring for children to see older adults standing up for them.

“For older adults who want to join in the effort, I recommend they visit www.serve.nebraska.gov and www.seniors4kids.org, and get involved. It will make a world of difference to our children and to those who volunteer.”

Meet Mary Harding - Seniors4Kids Profile

Mary Harding is not one to cower from doing what’s right. She once risked being ostracized when she voted against her colleagues with the Nebraska Public Power District (NPPD) Board of Directors to reject the resolution on TransCanada’s Keystone Pipeline project.

Although NPPD still approved the resolution, Harding became a hero for Bold Nebraska, an advocacy group that continues to fight the pipeline project.

She’s just as determined, when it comes to her grandkids and other young Nebraskans, to leave them a better world. “I hope that they can enjoy the same kind of life that I did growing up,” she said. “We felt safe on the streets…. Schools were well-funded” and better-off then.

Today, nearly 40 percent of Nebraska’s children ages 0-5 aren’t doing as good as Harding’s generation did at their age, according to a data by First Five Nebraska, an advocacy group building public momentum in support of high quality early childhood experiences for young Nebraskans. That preschool group is considered at risk of later failing in school and life because they don’t have access to high-quality early experiences and relationships.

“The more we know about the development of human beings, the more we realize those early experiences are absolutely critical to laying down the pathways that make an individual a good member of our community and society,” Harding said.

Her early experiences helped her appreciate the environment she fights to protect. “I love the change of the seasons,” said Harding, whose preservationist background includes executive director positions at both the Nebraska League of Conservation Voters and the Nebraska Environmental Trust Fund.

Harding’s currently helping to push her state’s wind-energy potential, with NPPD’s goal of generating 10 percent of its power from wind. “I love the fresh air and the clean water that we take for granted here,” she said.

Harding’s early experiences also derive from her Nebraskan roots that run seven generations deep.  She feels that same sense of community in her current hometown, Lincoln, where she and her husband, Richard Erickson, operate a residential rental property business.

With a population of over 302,000, the Lincoln Metropolitan area – which also encompasses Lancaster and Seward counties – is personable enough for Harding’s granddaughters – Eleanor, 5, and Elizabeth,2 – to enjoy the easygoing pace and hospitality their grandmother enjoyed from childhood to now. 

Harding hopes to see more grandparents advocating for children and youth. In her Aug. 23 letter that the Omaha World-Herald published, she called on Nebraska Gov. Dave Heineman to do more with Parental Involvement in Education Month.

“As a grandparent and Nebraskan who cares about our state’s future, I urge the governor to expand that call to grandparents and extended families,” Harding wrote in her piece, “involve grandparents in school family” – noting that educators and childcare providers are already interacting with the one in 10 grandparents who regularly provide care for at least one grandchild.

Since older adults have the benefit of experience,  “we must stand up, speak out and get involved at the very beginning in advocating for children,” according to Harding. “We got to take a role in helping shape the policies that we undertake to provide for a strong environment to raise children.”  

Grands As Parents Inc.

PHOTO: Courtesy of Grands As Parents Inc.

EDITOR’s NOTE: Each week, we’ll feature intergenerational program ideas that were tried and successful. This series is a tool to highlight various age-optimized programs and practices. The program descriptions are provided by representatives of the programs. Inclusion in this series does not imply Generations United’s endorsement or recommendation, but rather encourages ideas to inspire other programs.

In part 13 of our series, we feature Grands As Parents Inc., a Philadelphia-based collaborative effort addressing the needs of relative caregivers.

(Read parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12)

Grands As Parents Inc. was founded in 1996 and is comprised of grandparent caregivers and relatives who have found themselves in parenting roles for their grandchildren (in some cases great children). These grandparents have been forced from the realm of retirement to become sole caretakers for these energetic and needy children.

Grands As Parents provides support services and advocates for the rights of the heads of such families and is committed to providing assistance to these caregivers and their entire household for which rhey are responsible.

GAP is designed to address the special needs and concerns of the grandparents who have specific issues (whatever the reason) and who are temporary or permanent caretakers of their grandchildren, however this is not a requirement for participation.

This a non-profit organization is administrated by volunteers and has a board of directors. This organization willingly collaborates with other nonprofit community organizations in the concept that it takes a village to raise a child.

GAP provides the following services/ referrals - Crisis/Stress Management, Legal Services, Housing, Food, Clothing, Human Resources.

Got something cool you tried that was successful? Why not tweet your cool intergenerational ideas to #cooligideas? You can also post them to our Intergenerational Connections Facebook Group. Youth Jumpstart Grantees can share ideas here. Or just text us through the Facebook Messenger app (friend me to join our Cool Intergenerational Ideas group discussion). We want to highlight innovative age-optimized programs and practices through our blog, social media and weekly e-newsletter!  Share the inspiration.

Grandparents Week Blog: Bob Ness

Growing up, I had the privilege of living in the same town as my grandparents, Bob and Pauline Ness.  They helped raise me, and were present for almost every sporting event, musical performance, and other major life events.  When I look back and think about my childhood and adolescence, I remember them at everything.  These memories became especially important after my grandpa started showing signs of dementia around the time I went to college. Because I was only an hour and a half away, I would often drive back to Story City and spend a couple hours on the weekend reminiscing with him.  A few memories would always make him roar with laughter.

There was the time we went golfing with my grandpa’s sister and husband and we were so slow we ended up having at least a dozen groups play through us.  During the same game, we spent 30 minutes on one hole because they were all determined to hit their balls across the water hazard—despite losing several each to it. Or when he would coax me into a play a game of cards or checkers in which he would mercilessly beat me.  To this day, I still think he looked at the reflection in my glasses to see my cards…

My grandpa passed away a few years ago to Alzheimers and those memories have been near and dear to my heart ever since.  Recently I saw my grandma and shared some of my memories of grandpa with her.  In return, she reminded me of one that I hadn’t remembered.

“Funtascup” – This was a word or expression that Grandpa would frequently use when something did not go according to plan, when he could not figure something out, when things were out of his control and when he was frustrated. When his kids and grandkids would question the origin, they were told the word was as Norwegian as “Ufda”, kumla and munga tuk. When we were writing his eulogy we asked someone who spoke Norwegian what it meant. We were surprised to find out it was an actual swear word!  This was a surprise considering my grandpa was the last person who would ever use a curse word in front of us—though it would be just like him to excuse it if it’s in another language.  We included it in his eulogy and everyone had a good laugh over it. 

This Grandparents Day I thought about all the great memories I have with my grandparents and all the lessons they taught me growing up. Perhaps the most important after all was to choose your words carefully—you never know what words people will remember you most for.

Written By: Melissa Ness

Grand Success Story: Barack Obama

As Generations United celebrate Grandparents Day and honor the contributions of grandparents in children’s lives, we are proud to announce the release of Grand Successes: Stories of lives well-raised. Grand Successes tells the stories of just some of the many successful individuals raised by their grandparents or other grandfamilies. Today we’re featuring the story of President Barack Obama. 

The President of the United States had a very close relationship with his grandparents during his childhood in Hawaii. The values grandparents instill in their grandchildren have great implications, and this could not be more evident than for the grandparents of the commander in chief of the country.

Obama’s parents were married for only a short time after his birth. Obama Sr. was a native of Kenya, and returned to Africa while his son was still young. Obama’s mother married a man from Indonesia shortly after her divorce from Obama Sr. and took her son with her to Indonesia. When Obama was ten years old, he returned to Hawaii and to his loving grandparents.

 

“Toot” (the affectionate nickname Obama had for his grandmother) and Stanley Dunham raised their grandson with love and sacrifice, even sending him to a prestigious school in Hawaii. Speaking about his grandmother, Obama said, "She's the one who put off buying a new car or a new dress for herself so that I could have a better life. She poured everything she had into me." Obama also credits his determination to his grandmother. “She's where I get my practical streak. That part of me that's hardheaded, I get from her. She's tough as nails." His grandmother helped support her grandchildren by working at a bank, at a time when far fewer women were in the workforce.

Toot passed away just two days before Obama was elected as President in 2008. A month prior to her passing, Obama had taken a respite from campaigning to visit with his ailing grandmother. Although Toot was not able to see her grandson “Barry” become the commander in chief of the United States, she undoubtedly was proud of all that he had achieved.

Perhaps this is why the First Lady’s mother also lives in the White House. The President understands the importance of a relationship with a grandparent.

 

To read more inspiring stories of people raised in grandfamilies, download Generations United publication Grand Successes: Stories of Lives Well-Raised today!

Grandparents Week Blog: Jefferson Clark

Every year my grandfather, Jefferson Clark, would travel from Washington, DC to Hamden, Connecticut to visit with his daughter and her family. Then he would go to Egg Harbor, New Jersey to visit with another daughter.

In 1938, when I was 12 years old this picture was taken with three of his grandchildren. All of us admired this man who fathered seven children; left Selma, Alabama in the 1890’s after being threatened by white supremacists for writing about segregation, and came to Washington, DC to work for the federal government. His stature and overall demeanor was impressive. He set a good example for us in the way he carried himself, the stories he told us, and most important his sense of humor. The older I got the more I respected the example my grandfather had set. I was 20 years old when he died 65 years ago but I can still see him walking down Marlboro Street swinging his cane.

Written By: Tom Taylor

Grandparents Week Blog: Jack and Marion Hlava

Jack and Marion Hlava were married on June 18^th 1949 in the central Wisconsin town of Mosinee. They had five children, and among them was my father. After leaving Mosinee, Grandma and Grandpa Hlava spent the rest of their lives in the small paper town of Green Bay, and their house sat on Ridge Road just a few short blocks away from the famed Lambeau Field, home of the Green Bay Packers.

When I was very young I remember the car rides to their house marked by the left turn just in front of the colossal football shrine. Often I was forced against my will to wear an itchy sweater in my best effort to be as photogenic as possible for the family photo. But I toughed through it, because going to grandma and grandpa’s house meant great food, hanging out with the family, but most importantly there was usually a Packer game involved.

Speaking of the Green Bay Packers, for anyone from the great state of Wisconsin (Green Bay in particular) watching the games were as commonplace as breathing. Being a fan is simply a part of everyday life there, and there were no bigger Packer fans that I knew of than my grandparents. If anything I remember of them, it was the look of sheer jubilation at every great win, and the heart retching agony of every loss. But we shared in it together as a family and it was a special bond that I’ll never forget. In 1996 the Packers went on to win the Super Bowl for the first time in my life, and I was there at Grandma and Grandpa’s house cheering them on with my family.

This year when I celebrate Grandparents Day, I’ll be thinking about those car rides past Lambeau Field to my grandparents’ house. I’ll remember those awful striped sweaters I used to wear during the holidays at their house, and the hearty meals we ate when the temperatures dipped below zero. I’ll remember the jubilation of every Packer victory and the agony of every loss when we all watched the games together. I’m proud to say that the time spent with my grandparents made me who I am today; I cherish the time with my family, am a lifelong Packer fan which I will be passed down to the next generation, and I still hate itchy sweaters.

Written By: Adam Hlava

Grandparents Week Blog: The Joy of Baking

I remember going to visit my grandparents in Utica, NY (a couple times a year) and knowing that there would be lots of homemade baked from scratch goodies waiting for my family’s arrival.  My grandmother would bake my dad’s (her son’s) childhood favorites along with those of my mom, my brother and myself.  During our stay, we would bake more to make sure we had a different dessert every night after dinner, and plenty of homemade treats during the day.  I knew, as a child, that baking was something my grandmother not only enjoyed, but also a way that she expressed her love for others.

As I got older, I began to bake, and realized not only do I enjoy the actual art of baking, but also making others happy by baking their favorite treats, just like my grandmother.  I, learned from the best, and only bake from scratch, just like my grandmother.  Every Thanksgiving, I make pumpkin cheesecake, a favorite of many of my guests, especially my grandmother.

My grandmother and I are passing on the love and enjoyment of baking to my daughters.  Now, every time I bake, I have 2 or 4 extra little hands measuring, pouring, mixing and tasting.  I don’t know which part is more fun – laughing with them as they make a mess, accomplishing our goal or enjoying the final product!

I often have conversations with my grandmother about baking, recipes and sweets in general. There is nothing like food to elicit conversation and connections.  Happy Grandparent’s Day, Oma……….I’ll be over with some black forest cake later!

Written By: Leah Bradley

Grandparents Week Blog: Grandma Fannie

My grandmother was married 3 times and she outlived all three of her husbands.  Her last husband, known as “Mr. Jim” and referred to as “Big Daddy,” reminded me of a kind-hearted old workhorse.   He chewed tobacco and would not let us play cards in the house, nor could we listen to the radio on Sunday.  Being the resilient children that we were, we found other places to play where we would not get caught with the cards.

During the visits to North Carolina we had a wonderful time playing on my grandmother’s farm.  Granny had nine children and also raised two of my mother’s nephews (with nine children already, what were two more?).  There were always plenty of other children to play with, and hide-and-seek was a favorite, as there were so many good places to hide on a farm.  It was great sport to harass the chickens, feed the pigs and hide near the outhouse.  It was a great improvement when a bathroom was installed on the enclosed back porch but it was still a chilly venture.  Granny was very frugal and children were the recipients of the thinnest slice of her rich, buttery pound cakes.  And you dare not make your dishpan water too sudsy as this was an indication that you had used entirely too much soap!

In her later years, she developed a skin condition known as vitiligo and in my naïve youth I thought it came from drinking water from the well.  I remember when my mother brought her up North to live with us a short while, the doctors wanted to give her a pacemaker but she was having none of that.  And she was right. In a short period of time, whatever was wrong with her heart corrected itself without the pacemaker.  Another time I was upstairs in my bedroom reading a book and finally realized that someone was calling my name, “Tina,” “Tina” I heard faintly.  When I ran downstairs, I found my grandmother lying on the floor beside the bed.  She had just missed falling into a glass storm door pane left leaning against the wall.  Even though I was visibly shaken, I made light of it by putting my hands on my hips, cocking my head to the side and saying, “Granny, now what are you doing down there on the floor?”  She laughed when I said that, and as I helped her get up and back into bed, I thought that bones must get heavier with age because it was extremely hard to lift her. 

My fondest memory is combing her thin silver hair as she sat in a chair in the dining room.  As I was combing her hair, I told her that she looked like an old Native American and that made her laugh gently and smile.  Before she passed at the age of 94, she said she was “tired, just tired.”  To this day when I tease my 86-year-old Mom by calling her “Miss Fannie” we laugh together in memory and understanding as we both know that name means the spirit of Grandma is nearby.

Written by Bettina Thorpe-Tucker

Grand Success Story: Kelli Pickler

As Generations United celebrate Grandparents Day and honor grandparents, we are proud to announce the release of Grand Successes: Stories of lives well-raised. Grand Successes tells the stories of just some of the many successful individuals raised by their grandparents or other grandfamilies.

Like Shea McClellin and Jimmy Wayne, country singer and American Idol alum Kelli Pickler has found fame and success because of the support and love of her grandparents. Pickler has been involved with Generations United for some time, and lent her voice to celebrate and encourage other grandfamily caregivers and children at the 2008 GrandRally.

When asked how she found the courage to audition for American Idol, Kelli Pickler has a ready answer: her grandparents, Faye and Clyde Pickler. The bubbly, energetic country singer says her grandparents’ love and devotion gave her the confidence to forge ahead with a singing career.

Pickler’s parents had had a tumultuous relationship, separating when she was just two years old. Her father struggled with addictions to drugs and alcohol and couldn’t care for her properly. Consequently, Pickler’s grandparents became her primary caregivers when she was very young. Their willingness to step up and provide the best for Pickler is undoubtedly a great factor in the singer’s success.

Pickler’s grandmother, Faye, piqued her interest in music. “[My grandmother] had a collection of children's books, and one of those was a songbook. We would sit on the swing on the front porch, and I would just sing my heart out,” Pickler recalls.

But it was her grandfather, Clyde, who took Pickler to her American Idol audition and succeeded in calming her before her performance. “He said, ‘Sit down Kelli, we're here now, what do you have to lose?’” The rest is history—Pickler had nothing to lose, and all to gain.

Music saved Pickler when her grandmother passed away while Pickler was still in high school. Like any great artist, she eased her pain through a creative outlet. Her first album closes with a song called “My Angel,” a heartfelt tribute to her grandmother.

Pickler has not shied away from opportunities to encourage those who find themselves in situations similar to hers growing up. Demonstrating her appreciation for the care and support of her grandparents and the millions of grandparents raising grandchildren across the U.S., Picker sang “My Angle,” and spoke words of encouragement to nearly 1000 grandparents raising grandchildren and their supporters at a national GrandRally in front of the U.S. Capitol in Washington D.C. in 2008.

And Pickler’s tribute to her grandmother travels with her wherever she goes. Each time Pickler climbs into the RV that serves as her home away from home while on tour, she’s reminded of her beloved “Grandma.”  The name she gave her RV? Faye.

 

To read more inspiring stories of people raised in grandfamilies, download Generations United publication Grand Successes: Stories of Lives Well-Raised today!

Grandparents Week Blog: Joseph and Ruth Principe

Now that I have two children of my own, I often find myself wondering how my mother managed to do so much on her own while juggling her career as a chemist. Mornings at our house resembled a three ring circus on a speeding train. Mom often made breakfast and cooked dinner simultaneously in the morning to save time.

Always on the verge of missing the bus or eating dinner at eight, WE RUSHED EVERYWHERE…except for Sundays. Until the time I left for college, we went to my grandparents on Sundays after church.

Although the more reserved of the two, my grandfather Joseph Principe still found ways to make us feel special. While carving the roast in the kitchen, Pop-Pop (later Grandpa) would sneak us coveted end pieces before the platter headed to the dining room. If Sunday dinner included my dreaded nemesis (baked ham), a sandwich made from leftover homemade meatballs and gravy (aka spaghetti sauce) came out on my plate instead with a conspiratorial eyewink.

Grandpa grew up in Brockton, Massachusetts during the height of the depression. His older brother Dominic was a football star at Fordham University in the 1930s, playing with Vince Lombardi and later signing with the New York Giants. My grandfather also earned a football scholarship to Fordham, before breaking his arm his freshman year. He met my grandmother, Ruth Horan, in the stadium stands.

Gram was gregarious, warm, lively, and adventurous. When my grandfather got deployed before their scheduled New York wedding to Wyoming for training as B-4 pilot with the Army Air Corps during World War II, she had her father (a buyer at a major New York department store) have a suit made to match his uniform. She flew out to Wyoming by herself to get married. She named my mother for the Mountain Laurel flowers that bloomed where they lived on base.

At my grandparents’ dinner table, we learned how to treat china and crystal with care even at an early age. I felt very important when my grandmother served me soda (which my mother only permitted us to drink at their house) from her Waterford crystal for the first time at five. More importantly, we learned how to treat everyone at the table with respect and dignity. As the youngest of five children, my Aunt Claudia was born with Downs Syndrome. Far ahead of their time, my grandparents taught us that everyone should contribute to the best of their abilities and that everyone deserved their place at the table. Claudia was the light and joy of our family.

After dinner and dishes, we always played board or card games back at the table. If I set up my grandmother for a good hand, I was “in the will kid.” Through the stories my grandparents told around the card table, we picked up family history that I treasure today.

As it turns out, my grandparents gave my mother, brother, and me the greatest gift they could each Sunday: the time to relax and enjoy our family together over food, laughs, and games.

Written By: Anne Tria Wise

Generations United Releases Infographic on “Grandparents in the United States”

As the number of grandparents continues to grow in the U.S. so does the impact they make on their grandchildren. This infographic from Generations United presents just some of the ways grandparents in the United States are “doing something grand” for children and youth.

We would love your help in getting the word out about this new resource:

Share the Infographic on Facebook
Tweet the Infographic

Download the Infographic and share on your website or blog (code to embed the infographic is available on that same site)

Generations United is committed to recognizing, promoting, and supporting not just the important intergenerational connection between grandparents and grandchildren, but between older adults and children and youth across America.

What ways are you promoting intergenerational connections? Here are some suggestions from Generations United:

• Join our Grand Faces Grand Voices campaign and make a commitment to do something grand for children and youth in your community, state, or across the nation.
• Download our Grandparents Day Take Action Guide for tools and ideas on how to make a lasting impact in your communities and for the next generation.
• Pledge your support for improved legal, health, educational, financial, and other policies for grandfamilies by signing Generations United’s Grandfamilies Pledge.

Going the Distance: The Importance of Grandparents in Children’s Lives

Sometimes it’s hard to keep kids and their grandparents in touch.  But it’s worth it.

When distance separates kids from their grandparents

It was a great idea at the time. Tired of the crowded streets of Manhattan where my husband grew up, we opted to move out of New York. We also decided against my native Los Angeles, with its own traffic issues. So we chose Colorado, an in-between place with enough urban and outdoor life to satisfy us both. Of course, we didn’t have any kids, nor did we have many friends with kids, who might have suggested to us that we might want family close by when we had children. So when our two angels finally did come along, we wished we had a set of grandparents or two next door, and we were saddened that our kids would have less interaction with their grandparents. 

Grandparents do make a difference

My husband and I have no interest in moving. But we both agree that we wouldn’t be the same people if it weren’t for our relationships with our grandparents. My grandmother was a major figure in my life, even though she lived in a different state. During my visits with her as a kid, we would do a lot of ‘typical’ grandmother/granddaughter activities, like baking cakes or playing with dolls. But I especially loved hearing about her life growing up. She and her sister, my great-aunt, told me how they used to dress, including how they wore real silk stockings, buying a new pair each week and wearing them every day. And little stories about how they used margarine that came in a bag when butter was limited during World War II were fascinating to me. As I became older, she reminisced about how dating worked when she was young, and wished I was able to go to a dance hall and just mingle, rather than committing to relationships while still a teenager. 

Bridging the distance between kids and their grandparents

Building a strong relationship between my kids and their grandparents takes a lot of effort, but my instinct tells me it’s worth it. In the first two years of my older daughter’s life, we made 14 trips by plane and car to visit grandparents, and great-grandparents, on both coasts. We have not yet experienced a moment when my children were shy or reticent with either set of grandparents. Now, both kids are in elementary school, and are just as eager to see their grandparents whenever they can, or at least talk on the phone. Also, the girls love to keep up with them using some of the new technologies available to kids.

How kids benefit from the unique relationship with their grandparents

There is interesting research about the beneficial role grandparents play in a child’s life. Relationships with people from different generations appear to have positive effects on kids, including building empathy and self-esteem. I personally notice how interacting with older people helps my kids communicate better, as well as learn respect and patience. And it makes sense that an extra person or two in a child’s life willing to give ‘unconditional love’ is a wonderful thing for a child to experience. 

In addition, our kids realize they are part of a larger story - the history of our family. They understand their unique role, and enjoy discovering where they fit in this evolving narrative. And grandparents continue to build their own legacy by educating their grandkids of their history, their challenges, and their joy. From books, I know there were shortages of butter in WWII, but I had no idea that margarine came in a plastic bag that you kneaded before using. 

Younger generations can use their grandparents’ experiences to make better choices in their lives, and handle difficult situations. It helps to know people that have successfully navigated bumpy roads before them. As parents, we are committed to encouraging and strengthening the relationship between kids and grandparents. Our busy schedules and distance can make it a challenge, but our kids, and our parents, benefit deeply from this unique bond.

How have you nurtured this relationship between kids and grandparents? What benefits have you seen? Let us know!

by Tina Marquis

About the Author

Tina Marquis is the Vice President of Marketing for DoubleScoop, a startup that creates technology to bring kids and grandparents together. Her goal is to create fun and exciting ways to bridge the generation gap through technology. She lives in Colorado with her two girls and husband, and enjoys traveling to both coasts to visit grandparents.